Hello World,
My name is Erica Kopp. I was born and raised in Utah, Happy Valley. I am mormon. I am a mom. There is more to me than just these things but for what I am about to say, that is all you need to know.
I have spent my whole life with views and ideas based off of my religion, the media, and a narrow minded perspective that I am here to tell you has changed!
I have an amazing mother. She has always been more than a mother to me. Nothing she did or said ever molded the feelings or beliefs I had on motherhood. So don't you dare, even for a second, think that my opinions had anything to do with her. She is amazing, there are things in her life I don't want but not a single one of them have anything to do with who she is and what kind of a mother she has been.
Now that that is out of the way I can get to the point. Motherhood to me meant you had to lose yourself. Motherhood to me meant you let yourself go.Motherhood meant your body would never be the same. Motherhood to me looked like you became a walking zombie, one that didn't even have the time to eat brains. Motherhood meant you were "just a stay at home mom".
I am here to tell you that while motherhood is the hardest thing I have ever done(check out my miserable post after a couple of months of being a brand new mom), some of these beliefs I had were because of the horrible image this world and the media gives moms.
For one thing, I am sorry but it just ticks me off that me, as a mother, I am either portrayed as a "MILF"( I can't help but think of the mother on Billy Madison who is picking up her son from school) or a "HAG". What about the happy medium? What about the mom who some days just doesn't have time to get all primped up because she would rather spend that extra hour playing with her baby? What about that mom that realizes it is easier to chase a baby when you aren't wearing heels, so she picks a cute pair of Victoria Secret sweats instead? I would like to think that I HAVE NOT let myself go just because I don't have every piece of my hair in place anymore.
I hear of so many women deciding not to have kids because they don't want to "ruin" their bodies. Coming from a girl who has struggled with eating disorders and self esteem issues my whole life, my body is not "ruined", it has merely only "changed". I can't speak for all women who have had babies because my weight gain wasn't horrible and I didn't get left with a bunch of stretch marks but motherhood has made me appreciate my body. I still complain about my flaws but I freakin pushed a baby out of me! I look good for having a baby! These rockin curves and hips are what did the job that fine day in the delivery room. I don't feel the need to count every calorie and worry about every pound. I don't see that as "letting myself go", I see it as having a change in priorities and loving my body how it is! Some people may think that I have transitioned my swimsuit wardrobe to tankinis because I am insecure about my stomach! Not true! I have a son now, I am a mom, I want to look like a mom and when my son is old enough to understand I don't want him seeing me mostly naked at the pool(just a personal decision). Trust me, all of this has not been a problem for my husband, he still finds me beautiful as ever ;)!
As for losing myself. Some days are the stereotypical zombie eyed, barf on the shirt, all day doing chores type of day but not all of them. Since I have had my beautiful baby boy I have been to the beach, been to vegas with the girls, gone boating at bear lake, gone shopping, biked 40 miles, redecorated two rooms, thrown parties, all while toting around my little sidekick. I don't look at it as losing myself...I look at it as being Batman and gaining a Robin. He goes everywhere with me. Even though some days it makes it harder to carry around his whole closet in his diaper bag and make pit stops to change his diaper...for the most part he just makes it a bigger adventure. Ask my sisters, we were at the pool today and they almost enjoyed hanging out with Sawyer and I more because everything we did was a new adventure for him! At the pool I looked around at the other cute moms in their mint tankinis and their lace coverups, chasing their little kids around and I thought how happy I would be if people associated me with them and thought of me as that cute mom! As I sat there holding sawyer in the kiddie pool, I looked over my shoulder and saw the group of "HOT" girls laying out in their amazing bikinis, getting their amazing tans with their flawless bodies and I wouldn't trade them for the world! I was getting a tan(because remember my looks are still important to me) all while entertaining my baby boy in the pool, great multi-tasking!
.JPG)
No comments:
Post a Comment